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How to ruin the janitor wife’s date for the Marriage Mending chore in Cyanide & Happiness – Freakpocalypse

If at least half of the couple is happy, we did good, right?

Cyanide & Happiness – Freakpocalypse brings much of the raunchy-filled content that you have come to expect with the Cyanide & Happiness comics and animations on the internet. There are constant dirty references and jokes that fans of the series will eat up. One of these situations comes up when you are tasked with helping the janitor get back with his ex-wife. The two of them are going through a divorce, so it’s time to play matchmaker. Here is how to ruin the janitor wife’s date and complete the Marriage Mending quest.

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First, before you can reunite the janitor with his wife, you need to find him in the high school cafeteria. He is mopping up his tears in front of Chet’s autograph line. When you talk to him, ask him if he will go to prom with you. He will respond that he is too heartbroken, leading Coop to ask if his wife will go to prom with him. This will prompt the janitor to tell him to ask her himself at the restaurant Le Telepathe.

Screenshot by Gamepur

After you can leave the high school, make your way to Le Telepathe, found to the far left on Trinity Boulevard (the same street as the retirement home and pizza place).

Screenshot by Gamepur

When you enter the restaurant, you can find the janitor’s wife (Beverly Besom) on a date with Lookin’ Good Guy (the guy obsessed with looking at himself in a mirror from the C&H animation series). If you talk to her, she will tell you how she will not be going back to the janitor because he was obsessed with his custodial life. End the conversation, and she will note how she’s not looking for a plate of d***s. It might sound odd, but that is actually a clue to how we can end this date.

Screenshot by Gamepur

Look to the far right of the dining area, and you will see a crumpled-up order ticket on the floor. Oddly enough, this ticket is for a plate of d**ks.

Screenshot by Gamepur

Use the ticket on the turnstile above where you picked it up, and a cutscene will begin where the couple will receive their food. Beverly will get a cupcake with steak in it, and Lookin’ Good Guy will get a censored plate of d**ks.

Screenshot by Gamepur
Screenshot by Gamepur

This will send Beverly over the edge. She will walk out on the date and go back to settling for her janitor husband. We’re heroes! Go outside the restaurant, and you can talk to the janitor who will hug you and make you dirty (as a cosmetic item). This completes the Marriage Mending side quest.


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Author
Image of John Hansen
John Hansen
John Hansen is a Full-time Staff Writer for Gamepur as well as a host for the YouTube channel Pixel Street Videos where he co-hosts a weekly gaming podcast and more. His favorite games include Super Mario 64, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Breath of the Wild, Left 4 Dead 2, and Overwatch. He covers Overwatch 2 and other FPS titles, Minecraft, Sonic the Hedgehog, Legend of Zelda, and whatever zombie games are placed in front of him.